Halliwell Manor, San Francisco, Saturday afternoon

[blessed_twice]

Wyatt had wandered downstairs to scrounge for food. A flash of light from the living room caught his eye, so, wary for any danger, he stepped into the room. A woman dressed in shining silver armor and radiating a brilliant light stood there. "Who are you?" Wyatt demanded, shielding his eyes. "What are you doing here? Excalibur!"

The woman laughed. "I'm right here, my king," she said.

His sword hadn't appeared in his hand like it should've when he called. Wyatt stared at the woman. "You're trying to tell me you're my sword?" he said.

"I am, my lord," the woman said, bowing her head.

Life as a witch and living in Fandom made Wyatt used to a lot of weird stuff. So no one should be terribly surprised that his reaction wasn't one of completely denial, but instead was: "No way! My sword is not a girl!"


[Open for the gf or the brother if they happen to be about. :) ]

Comments

[neurotic-witch.livejournal.com]

Chris wandered in with a cup of coffee.

"Uh... who's your friend?"

[blessed_twice]

"She's claiming to be my sword," Wyatt said.

"Sir Lancelot," Excalibur said, acknowledging Chris.

[neurotic-witch.livejournal.com]

"Say what now?" Chris asked.

[blessed_twice]

"Who else would the best friend of our king be?" Excalibur said. She was kind enough to dim the glow a bit.

"Dude, hands off my girlfriend," Wyatt had to say. Even though he knew Chris had already slept with her that one weird weekend.

[neurotic-witch.livejournal.com]

"I have my own girlfriend thanks," Chris said. "Besides, didn't Lancelot and Arthur..." he shuddered at the thought.

[blessed_twice]

"They did not!" Wyatt said. "Stop listening to Anders!"

Excalibur just smiled.

[neurotic-witch.livejournal.com]

"Dude, like I'd listen to that overblown jock? It's called reading."

Chris shook his head and finally asked the important question. "Why is your sword a chick?"

[blessed_twice]

"Lay off the scary fanfic, dude," Wyatt said. Denial, denial, denial.

"Why are you so surprised that my embodiment is female?" Excalibur said. "Because you think it is more appropriate for a sword to be male?" She sighed. "It's the phallic imagery, isn't it?"

[neurotic-witch.livejournal.com]

Chris rolled his eyes at Wyatt.

"Well, I was more wondering why you weren't, you know, a sword," Chris said.

[blessed_twice]

Excalibur shrugged. "Magic of some type, I suppose," she said. "But I intend to enjoy it while I can."

[neurotic-witch.livejournal.com]

"Oh? And how do you intend to do that?" Chris asked, almost afraid of the answer given that she did belong to Wyatt.

[blessed_twice]

"I wish to sample the enjoyments of the flesh," Excalibur said. "Food, drink, and sex."

"You are so not leaving this house," Wyatt said.

[neurotic-witch.livejournal.com]

"You can have food and drink," Chris told her.

[blessed_twice]

"I want to experience sex," Excalibur said. "I have seen it many times."

"I have a girlfriend, he has a girlfriend, and you're not leaving the house," Wyatt said. "No sex for you." Unless maybe he called Ronan or something. "My sword is human, can you come sex her up please?"

[neurotic-witch.livejournal.com]

"Dude... why has your sword seen you have sex?" Chris had to ask.

[blessed_twice]

"I have also seen you, Sir Lancelot," Excalibur said. "With the queen. But mostly I have seen the king, unless I was tossed upon the floor or something dropped on top of me." Her expression made it clear what she thought of that.

[neurotic-witch.livejournal.com]

Chris facepalmed, not really needing the reminder of when he and Isabel hooked up.

[blessed_twice]

"Dude, I think she means way back in medieval times," Wyatt muttered, because the sword followed him around, not Chris.

[neurotic-witch.livejournal.com]

Right, because that made it better.

"Either way, it's something I don't want to think about."

[blessed_twice]

"Same here," Wyatt said. "It's different now anyway. Lancelot isn't sleeping with Guinevere." Pause. "Or Arthur."

[neurotic-witch.livejournal.com]

"No and he never will," Chris said.

[blessed_twice]

"Glad we are of a like mind on that," Wyatt said. "And I still think you need to lay off the fanfic."

[neurotic-witch.livejournal.com]

"I don't read fanfic," Chris assured him. "I read actual books."

[blessed_twice]

"Right," Wyatt said. "What book has Arthur and Lancelot...you know?"

[neurotic-witch.livejournal.com]

"It's heavily implied in several," Chris told him.